


audemars before all of y'alls

by dimbleby



Category: Succession (TV 2018)
Genre: Gen, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pre-Slash, these are bad people & this is very silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24974929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimbleby/pseuds/dimbleby
Summary: "It's for the, the metrics, right? Content engagement?"
Relationships: Stewy Hosseini/Kendall Roy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	audemars before all of y'alls

**Author's Note:**

> This is either set during Kendall's actual canon stay in rehab in Iceland, or during a post-canon future where Kendall decides to take a pause, go back to said rehab and actually get better (lol.) You decide.

"The fuck," Kendall says, and Stewy sighs and rolls over in bed. It's morning in Scandi-fucking-wherever, apparently. And someone got his hands on a phone. 

"Hello to you, too," Stewy says. Injecting a little flirtatious edge. As you do. Considers, _what are you wearing?_ Rejects it. He knows Kendall, and he's as predictable as --

"The fucking instagram post." 

"Again, hello. Thanks for the follow. GQ does regularly include my posts in their fit roundups. I was Fit of the Day five times last year, but whatever. God, have I told you how much I love using the word fit, especially now that it's exclusively for douchebags--"

"Hashtag bipride? The fucking fuck?" 

Stewy rolls his eyes. It's dark and he's alone, but he looks good doing it. "Hashtags are an art. An invisible art. Consider the question of whether or not to include the designers."

Kendall is silent. Potentially he hadn't considered Stewy would be taking the conversational railroading approach. Which is forgetful of him. 

"I agree, Kendall. Tacky as fuck. As the phrase 'as fuck.' As people who don't realize we get this shit for free. I mean #hublot is a fucking garbage fire --" 

"I--" Kendall is apparently finally ready to say something. "It's for the, the metrics, right? Content engagement?"

He's so fucking dumb when he tries to do the buzzwords. Stewy hates himself for a moment for being invested in Kendall's ... journey. But only for a moment. Kendall's using up their entire shame quota. Someone needs to balance the force. 

Stewy hmms. "Ethical capitalism. The human face of hedge funds. That's me." 

Kendall laughs a little. His fake laugh. But he's still there, listening. Potentially about to be kicked out of his luxury-spa-rehab-not-rehab-glacier-bathing-mindfulness-experience-retreat if someone finds him on the phone. 

Stewy's a bad person sometimes. (He's aware.)

"Anyways, let me tell you about #PatekPhilippe. Jesus. Fucking. Christ."


End file.
